writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
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