no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
