Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
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