New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Of course I have a pirate flag
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Randomize
