I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
just tell him i said nine months
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Randomize
