You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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