Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Randomize
