She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
