Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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