ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Randomize
