Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
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