In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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