Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
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