never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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