the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
