i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
