it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
ttyl tear gas
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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