on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I just gift wrapped bread.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
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