But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
