please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Randomize
