i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
