look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize