WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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