This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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