Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
