And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
