So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
