she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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