Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Houston, we have a squirter
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
So vagazzling was a success
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
