Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
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