That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
