Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
