We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
