Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Just high enough for therapy.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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