i don't like sucking hair
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
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