The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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