That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
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