I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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