the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
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