that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Randomize
