Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I just had sex on a roof
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
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