I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
