That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
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