Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
