the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Randomize
