Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Randomize
