Apparently you make a good broom.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
