I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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