on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Randomize
