you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Sorry my hands just texted you
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
